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They Die Easy:  A Flash Fiction Piece

9/14/2014

20 Comments

 
Recently I stumbled across a magazine called Shock Totem.  They hold some interesting contests for writers.  The contests seem to be developed to challenge you, construct feedback for others, and consider feedback from others with each entry, rather than focus on who actually wins a prize, as there is no prize given.  Last night I entered my first contest through Shock Totem.  This particular contest is held bi-weekly.  At exactly 8:00 p.m a prompt is posted on their website forums, and you are given one hour to construct a story that is less than 1,000 words based on the prompt given (last night it was the picture below).  You then post your story within that hour.  Afterward, you read and comment on everyone's story providing praise and constructive criticism.  Each contestant ranks each story at first, second, and third places as well as an honorable mention.  Points are tallied and the winner announced.  I didn't win, but I'd love to share with you the story I came up with and posted in that stressful hour.  I hope you enjoy it!  


They Die Easy

“It won’t stay down for long,” my Gramps said once, as he handed me the sand.  I was eight years old.  My parents had long since passed leaving me with Gramps and every skeleton that came with him.  Gramps didn’t have a closetful.  He had a warehouse.  Gramps felt bad that I had a long, parentless future ahead of me, and he’d seen me interact with kids my age.  It never ended well.  It broke his heart to see me alone with no one to call friend.  No one to share a soda with.  No one on the receiving end of a fast pitch other than himself, so he did what any old man with the power to summon would do.  He gave me a Djinn.   

It always died easily.  The first time it died was within an hour of being summoned.  I had asked it to bring my parents back from the dead.  There was smoke and then a split ran from its shin to the top of its forehead.  The skin fell off like an unzipped one-piece suit, and it keeled over right at my feet.   That’s when Gramps gave me the sand; a rather large pouch of it.  I think he knew I’d need it frequently.  I was always scared to ask him what it was made from because it reeked strong of death, like a sweet, wet cardboard.  Every time I opened the bag I thought of the mouse that had died within the house walls one hot summer.  My dad ended up ripping out the paneling to get to it but not before invading our nostrils for a good week.  

Gramps taught me to sprinkle the sand in the mouth of the Djinn, and cover the body with red velvet.  Within 12 hours, the Djinn would be by my side with no memory of its temporary demise.  The Djinn could barely handle the imagination of an eight year old.  This was no “your-wish-is-my-command” deal.  Though the wishes weren’t limited in number, they were in degree.   There was no getting rich, raising the dead, teleporting.  They were minor wishes; those of a more entertaining nature.  One year I couldn’t get the walls in my tree house to stand erect.  The Djinn strengthened the nails, and that old mess still stands today.  Another time, I had a neighbor kid who never stopped bullying me.  I asked for help with that, and I never saw the kid again.  His dad lost his job and they moved away.  I can’t be for sure that was my Djinn’s doing, but I like to think so.  Gramps knew what he was doing when he gave me this one.  I continued to ask for my parents back every so often with the hope that its powers would grow as I was growing, but he’d end up an unzippered pile of flesh and bone.

I have plenty of sand left, but I’m done.  I’m done trying to fix life’s mistakes with a sack of bones and sand.  The rest of my life is up to me, and whatever storm comes my way I’ll take.  I’ll live, and I’ll learn.  I’ve buried the Djinn.  No sand in mouth.  It’s up to me now. 


20 Comments
Scout R.
9/14/2014 02:51:14 am

Great concept! A boy holding the power to actually kill a Djinn just because the task is too big. Excellent!

Reply
Chad
9/14/2014 05:50:21 am

Thanks, Scout. Most appreciated!

Reply
Dannie
9/14/2014 03:05:58 am

This was awesome, Chad! Thanks for sharing!

Reply
Chad
9/14/2014 05:50:36 am

Thank you, Dannie!

Reply
Walt W.
9/14/2014 04:16:15 am

Love it!

Reply
Chad
9/14/2014 05:50:54 am

Thanks, Walt!

Reply
T.T.
9/14/2014 08:10:45 am

Good story. I like it! Very original take on the Djinn

Reply
Chad
9/14/2014 01:45:53 pm

Thank you very much! I have fun writing it!

Reply
Leslie W. Brannigan
9/14/2014 08:34:45 am

The others must have been really good for you not to win. Loved it! Good job!

Reply
Chad
9/14/2014 01:46:21 pm

No comment..lol..but thank you!

Reply
RT Chapman
9/14/2014 10:14:17 am

Nice little story, mate! In particular for having only an hour to whittle it out.

Reply
Chad
9/14/2014 01:46:41 pm

Thank you so much, RT!

Reply
Mary
9/14/2014 11:33:44 pm

Thank you for sharing! I very much enjoyed your take on the prompt. It's refreshing to read your story after reading all the others all were too dark for this gal.

Reply
Chad
9/15/2014 04:54:32 am

Thanks, Mare!

Reply
Dean M
9/15/2014 06:22:41 am

I've seen that guy's artwork around a lot lately. Good story!

Reply
Chad
9/15/2014 08:59:07 am

Yeah, the artist is amazing...Great, original pieces! Thanks for the praise on the story, Dean!

Reply
C. Marie Sheryll
9/15/2014 07:32:04 am

Great descript of the smell of death!

Reply
Chad
9/15/2014 08:59:22 am

Ha! Thank you!

Reply
Ang. Peterson
9/16/2014 12:35:42 am

The contest sounds like it would be a lot of fun. You doing to keep doing them?

Reply
Chad
9/16/2014 09:51:38 am

The contest was fun...stressful too. I may try another with them

Reply



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